Get out of your own way

Theres been so many times that an experience has made me think or feel a certain way and I haven’t had the courage nor the words to express in that moment what I’m feeling or what is going on for me. 

We can constantly end up making up 1,2,3 or even 10 different stories or scenarios in our heads that don’t serve us. It’s important to recognise this within ourselves and learn how to manage this. For me I find that my headspace is different when I’m not prioritising myself and I’m doing things to please others over thinking about myself. 

A simple thing like going to the gym in the morning starts my day off with a positive mindset. Eating nourishing foods that are going to fuel your body and your mind, spending time with loved ones and most of all taking time out to read, relax, watch your favourite show or even meditate. 

Over the years I’ve figured out my patterns and my triggers but have struggled to communicate them to people around me, weather it be my team, family or even my partner. Sometimes we claim to be ‘great communicators’ but in actual fact there is so many areas of communication we need to work on. When I don’t communicate things to those around me my entire energy changes. It changes the way I feel about that person and also the way I act around them. This of course Is unintentional and at times I find it difficult to get out of my own head. 

All our thoughts control our lives. What you think about daily most of us don’t realise is controlling our thiughts and our actions which determines the way you live your life. 

I think about any career and how it can play out in the culture of the business. They call it the monkey on the back. This is where the most influential individual in a culture takes on everyone’s issues. Say there is a team of five people. Four of those people talk to the fifth person and vent. That fifth person speaks up to the person in charge and this ends up creating a culture of divide. Or in other cases number five will speak up and the rest of the four will say they didn’t say it. When you keep the monkey on your back you take on everyone’s responsibility’s and also your own. This leads to things not getting done and you being overwhelmed and stressed. 

Having owned a business for nearly ten years this has been one of the main points not only in partnership but in leadership and the way a team is conducted. Being in a partnership is like being in a marriage. Both people have to be open to feedback, growth, be on the same journey, remain committed no matter how hard it gets and most importantly be able to communicate in each other’s different styles. Usually there is a feeling when something is not quite right but it takes both sides to come to the party and talk about anything openly and honestly. This is the same as leadership. Expressing to your team that there is openness and transparency can create a space for them to speak up. This sometimes solely depends on the individual and their battles internally they have with themselves and how they show up in the world. 

Some people are to afraid to speak up which can lead to miss understandings and stories that could have potentially been solved before becoming an issue. Don’t get me wrong this is something I have forever been working on as fear use to be the main driver in not making this happen. 

Don’t let fear hold you back, speak up, communicate and most of all never make assumptions that will lead to stories that never happened and unresolved issues that will alter your energy and your life. 

Take your power back.

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